So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
