i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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