i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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