the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
