During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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