Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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