You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
