i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
