Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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