If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
