I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
