My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
