Please, let me fuck your mom
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
