Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
