those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
