how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
