She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
