lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
