Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
