My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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