Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
