His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
