You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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