i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
BRING THE BAGELS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
