So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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