so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
