Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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