we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
