u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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