did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
