I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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