I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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