yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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