Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
