A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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