he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
