i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
