well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
