At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
