it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i think i just lost a toe
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
