You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
