I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
