no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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