that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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