did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
