Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
