Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
