Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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