3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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