Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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