I'm gonna have a badass scar
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
